If Only
by Celena Winter
Summary: After the war... everything changes, feelings, lives, personalities... heck even Ginny is being more willed and manipulative... but where does that leave us? DMHP OCC


**If Only**

_Just to let you know that in this fanfiction, both Dumbledore and Sirius are alive_

The Malfoys… Narcissa and Lucius; had openly rejected He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Of course that only led for them to go into hiding, not very Malfoy-like, but the choices were limited and the privileges even less so.

The war had been over for a little over four months but the aftermath was still somewhat bittersweet. There had been too many deaths in account to stop the Dark Lord, let alone muggles who were not even aware of the Dark Lord's existence and people who were just hopeless victims, standing in the wrong place and at even worst time. Overall, to say that the mourning for those lost was much greater than the celebration of the defeat of their cause of sorrow, is at the very least an understatement.

Nonetheless, life must continue and an unspoken peace fell across the wizardly world, things were calming down and the worst was over, thankfully.

School had been out for three weeks and Draco was staying at Grimmauld Place with the 'golden trio'. Narcissa and Lucius were still in hiding, having come out at the last minute to help the Order of the Phoenix and the Ministry of Magic only to disappear again to keep themselves safe - but more importantly to keep their son safe. They knew for a fact that although Dumbledore was not at Hogwarts at the time, Draco would be most safe at the wizardly school, with the rest of the students and professors. But once school ended for the summer or in Draco's case finish completely, Dumbledore took it upon himself to look after the seventeen year old and the best place he could give him was the haven that had protected the Order of the Phoenix at their time of trouble.

Sirius and Remus were already resident at number 12 Grimmauld Place when the blonde came to the house. Having so much time in their hands, they had managed to make the house look more like a home, a lot of the darkness had been removed and cleaned out; their wands assisting in creative purposes; well, fire-calls to Molly Weasley asking her for advise, and then putting said advise into practise had them redecorating the entire house with new paint, new furniture and new knick-knacks. It was in this manner in which Draco had found them when he first arrived - after been dropped by Dumbledore at the front door.

The two best friends, and as Draco had just found out by watching their antics, lovers, were in a heated discussion about where the new sofa would be placed in the sitting room. Of course, once they realised they had an audience they stopped all action and turned their attention to the new presence in the house and Kreature, who had been the one that disturbed them with his mattering about ungrateful sons and his disgusting half-breed lover and their inattentiveness to Draco's presence. This only received a small smile from Remus a bark from Sirius and Draco's very unique ability to lift his eyebrow in query at both the house-elf's attitude and the lack of action from Sirius - even though it was obvious that he was less than pleased at the elf's frolics.

Remus had welcomed Draco warmly and proceeded to show him to his bedroom so that he could make himself comfortable; Sirius had childishly crunched up his nose in distaste at being left out but then proceeded on taking Kreature out and most probably berating him for his words, after sending Draco a small nod in greeting.

Once in his bedroom, Draco came to the conclusion that Sirius was most probably being civil out of the fact that he must have been schooled by both Dumbledore and Remus about being courteous when it was called upon him to be so, and this situation certainly called for some degree of courtesy. However, half an hour later, he found out how wrong he had been on his presumption as the doggish man knocked on his door and then barged in enthusiastically and proceeded on showing him the entire house. They soon became close. Not as close as Sirius and Harry were or how close Remus and Harry were, but they were close and for once Draco felt content and warmly at home.

He knew that although his parents loved him, they had to keep up an appearance that left little room for affection and although he now knew that they had showed him such lack of love for his own protection, he still couldn't help but want it, somehow.

Harry, Ron and Hermione arrived at Grimmauld Place a week later, finding Draco and Sirius messing around in the backyard. Hermione was nothing short of shocked, Ron… well Ron was Ron and Harry, Harry looked content at the picture that his godfather and his enemy presented. The trio had then proceeded to go to their bedrooms and settle in, to come down later and find that Remus had joined the other two in the garden, only now they were eating lunch on a picnic blanket.

Ginny, much to Draco's displeasure had come a few days later with Dobby. She attached herself to Harry instantly and spent as much time as she could around him, not that it was all that hard as they were living under the same roof.

Kreature became more offensive than before and only seemed to have some respect for Draco as **he** was a _Malfoy_ - and because of his obvious air of importance. But the last straw was drawn when Kreature made a snide remark about Harry, and then hinting that Harry and Ginny were most probably doing something less than appropriate behind closed doors. Harry had proceeded to blush a furious red, stood, opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before walking out heatedly.

The only ones that had been present, that being, Sirius, Hermione and Draco had only watched in complete confusion before Draco stood up enraged and scowled Kreature for the best of twenty minutes, greatly surprising Hermione and Sirius, before he too walked out.

O

Draco breathed out slowly as he stood at the bottom of the staircase, but the simple action did little to calm him down. Shaking his head he began to ascend the steps slowly. Reaching his door he paused, his hand levitated above his doorknob, his head tilted slightly as he looked down the corridor. His room was on the second floor, and to his pleasure, it was right next to Harry's room. Sirius and Remus also had their bedroom on that floor as it was the floor for the actual residents. As they didn't know how long Draco was going to stay, they had decided that he would be a resident instead of just a visitor like Granger and the Weasleys.

Walking down, he stood outside Harry's door, knowing that the youth had taken refuge in his room. Lifting his hand he folded it and paused; a shaky breath dropped from his lips and his fist hovered inches from the wooden barrier but instead of knocking like he wanted to, he let his closed fingers rest against the door gently, bringing his forehead to rest against the wood as well. Slowly he let his fingers uncurl and slide down as far as the length of the door that they could touch, before pushing of the door and walking away to take refuge in his own bedroom.

When he walked into the kitchen that evening, he noticed the change almost straight away, Harry was somewhat more quiet although he still remained as friendly as he had been since he had arrived at Grimmauld Place, Hermione was more than civil now as she smiled gently when she greeted him with open friendliness. Ginny was civil, a small change from her ignoring him all together, and Ron, Ron had been quietly ignoring him but unlike his sister he had made it known that he was less than pleased with Draco's presence and that although he chose to ignore the blonde, he was not unaware that he was still there. Sirius and Remus were still their comfortable selves, well, Remus was just as polite and kind as ever and Sirius just as crazy and hyperactive. Dobby was quietly doing his part of the work, smiling gaily at Draco when he took his seat, and then moving to serve him his supper. Draco smiled back and nodded politely when the house elf greeted him. Kreature was nowhere to be seen, and at the blonde's enquiry, Sirius admitted to have given the elf some time to himself and left him in the attic to do as he pleased.

Dinner was a buzzing event as everyone spoke of everything and nothing at the same time; even Dobby joined them at the table and took part in the conversations that shot back and forth randomly. Towards the end, the door to the kitchen opened and a very uncertain Kreature walked in deeming everyone silence for the space of ten seconds as they looked at him in dumb confusion.

"Kreature is sorry for not being a good house elf for his master." The small being threw himself to the floor before slowly lifting himself onto his knees and bowing lowly to Draco, Sirius, Harry and Remus, keeping his head down as he waited for an answer. Confused looks were shared before smiles lifted gently.

"Why don't you join us for dinner? It is almost finished, but I'm sure that there is something left." Sirius called out gently. Kreature looked up at a loss, slowly taking the looks of those in the table. Sirius and Remus sat at each end of the table with Harry, Ron and Dobby sitting on Sirius' right and Ginny, Hermione and Draco sitting on Remus' right. Slowly the house elf stood up and smiled shyly as he made to move towards the kitchen.

"No, you come and sit next to Dobby." Remus called out gently as he waved his wand and another chair appeared at the table next the other house elf. Dobby in turn smiled encouragingly at Kreature, making to stand up but once again Remus interfered as he stood up and made his way to the kitchen and prepared the dinner plate himself.

Once dinner ended the entire 'family' moved to the sitting room. Ron invited Draco to a game of chess; Ginny, Hermione and Dobby engaged themselves into a deep discussion about magical creatures, and Sirius, Remus, Harry and Kreature fell into another plan of renovating the house further.

As of yet the attic, the forth floor and part of the third floor needed to be worked upon; the jobs fell under the same of importance as the most needed requirements were met which was to keep the inhabitants on the named floors comfortable and safe. As it would be, the renovation was a lot easier with Kreature's help and a lot of unwanted items were finally rid off when it came down to throwing the rubbish out, the entire household worked for the best part of four days and in the end, the third floor was completely suitable for visitors, the forth floor was rearranged completely to Buckbeak's liking and the attic was cleaned out completely and then separated into two different sections for Dobby and Kreature, they also had the pleasure of decorating to their according tastes.

O

He stood outside the door once again, it's been five weeks since he had arrived at Grimmauld Place and this was the forth time he stood outside Harry's door at the given time. It was a little past midnight and everyone had gone to bed a couple of hours earlier. But he couldn't sleep, just like every other night in the past two weeks; he was unable to close his eyes without wanting to be with Harry… and now he stood outside said boy's door, only tonight was different. Tonight he would walk in and… and, ok, so he hasn't thought that far ahead but still, maybe being inside would guide him… somehow. He clumped his eyes shut tight as his hand turned the knob and pushed the door gently. Silence met his actions and he quickly walking in and closed the door behind him, resting his back against the wood as he let his breath out - realising that he had been holding it.

A slight moan brought him out of his frozen state, but the accurateness of the moan was not clarified as Draco moved closer, unsure if the moan was of pleasure or distaste or perhaps fright, the blonde suddenly found his self growing angry and jealous at the implication that Harry may indeed be with Ginny.

Moonlight pooled into the room ever so slightly to reveal that Harry was most certainly alone, although the picture was not much better for Draco, had he found Ginny lying next to the brunette. Harry tossed once more as though he was anything but comfortable in his double-bed, but the tightly shut eyes and the whimper that escaped his lips were a nightmare giveaway as Harry flinched once more and mumbled incoherently. "I guess _he_ still haunts you." Draco bend over gently to ran his warm fingers across the slightly sweat-damp forehead, down his temple, cheek and jaw line, a small smile lifting to his lips as Harry calmed down almost instantly and pressed himself to the given touch. "You'll be ok, you made it this far and now, and now you have us… you have me." His breath ghosted gently over the lightly tan skin as it ruffled a few brown hairs that curled around the ear. His nose tenderly inhaling the gentle scent of sweat and what could only be described as Harry, as his lips sailed over his jaw, dropping a chaste kiss on slightly parted lips before straightening and walking out.

O

He stood watching over him again, it had been three nights now since Harry hadn't had bad dreams, it was almost as though he subconsciously knew that he was been protected and he didn't have to worry. Slowly Draco pulled the blankets away and slipped into the bed next to the slightly bigger teenager. Almost instantaneously Harry moved closer to him and wrapped his arms around his waist, bringing them closer still. Draco froze as he felt his back press against Harry's front but when the brunette didn't do anything else, he melted into the touch and soon fell asleep.

Morning came all too soon for the blonde as he blinked his sleep away, his mind catching up with him as he realised that Harry and him where still more or less in the same position as the previous night. Slowly he pulled the hands away from him, the gesture bringing an uncomfortable chill to his body. Disappointingly, he pulled away altogether and got out of the bed, only taking one look at the sleeping boy and taking careful note of the boy's own disgruntlement at being left alone and cold. It took him all his will power to walk away as he watched that Harry was slowly waking up, most probably to grumble about the lack of companionship in his bed. But that wasn't what bothered him, no, what had him in knots was Harry waking up only to reject him; so Draco run, he run without looking back a second time.

O

"Damn." Harry punched the empty space within his arms, he had planned to wake up before the blonde so that said blonde didn't get the chance to run away, but he had been so content in the warmth that Draco had provided, that he let himself continue in his slumber. It had been a week since Draco had began coming to his bedroom, one week since that kiss and only last night did Draco finally join him in his bed. This action of course only fuelled Harry's want of the boy, yet Harry knew he had to be careful, he had to plan carefully and not scare off the blonde with any rush actions… _hmm how to woo a Slytherin_?

O

It was midday and Draco had still to come down from his bedroom, he had missed breakfast and Remus had been the first to go up and see him. As it happened Remus was also the last, and he persisted that no one was to disturb the blonde. Now Harry was driving himself crazy as he sat on the sitting room's window sill, watching Ron, Hermione and Sirius out in the back garden, trying very hard to ignore Ginny's voice, actually he was trying to ignore Ginny altogether but neither task was working very well. He turned to look inside the room once again, or to be more precise, he turned to look at the door - he had left it wide open so that he could see if Draco walked down, as the blonde would have to go past the sitting room if he was to go to the kitchen or outside from the upstairs. Remus who had been reading a book, lifted an eyebrow in query as Harry did a none comical sound at the back of his throat to appease Ginny's continues chatting.

"Sorry, what?" Harry said stupidly as Ginny threw her arms around him and pulled him away from his worries into another worry.

"Oh Harry, I can't believe you said yes. Wow, wait till I tell Hermione that we're an item. She was so dead-wrong when she said that your interests were somewhere else." Ginny moved to kiss him on the lips but Harry moved away again.

"Wait, what?" But before he could say anything his eyes clashed with Draco's. "Draco!" He made to move away from the small redhead but she was faster as she turned to look at the blonde that was suddenly wearing a very cold mask on his face.

"Hey Malfoy, Harry just agreed to be my boyfriend." Ginny grinned, well aware that Draco had some sort of attraction to Harry.

"No wait-" Harry moved again but froze when he saw the look of dismay, embarrassment and loss that crossed Draco's eyes although his face was just as unreadable as when they were in school. Opening his mouth once more Harry made to deny anything the Weasley youngster was saying but the blonde ran from the room before anything was said at all. "Damn it." Harry swore, already making to follow after the smaller teen but Remus stopped him before he could reach the door.

"Give him time Harry, in the process, clarify things with Ginevra. Although, somehow I have a feeling that she is not as innocent as she seems," Remus stood up and walked out, closing the door behind him.

Harry turned in time to see the smirk that lifted on the young redhead's mouth. "What's so amusing?" He lifted an eyebrow as he shifted back and crossed his arms around his chest and leaned against the newly painted wall.

"Nothing much, just the way that Lupin takes to being suspicious of anyone that he is not close to, yet he lets the likes of Malfoy as close as a son and looks at me as thought _I_ was the Death Eater's _heir_." Ginny grinned wider as Harry scowled.

"Neither Malfoy nor his family are Death Eaters, you will do well to hold your tongue Ginevra Weasley lest you want it cut of your pretty little mouth." The voice was cold and it cut through the room like a newly sharpened axe on wood. Harry and Ginny turned to look at the speaker revealing Hermione and Ron, both frowning at the youngest member. "And a word of advise that I think you should heed, if you are to talk wrongly of someone, I suggest you do so not in the presence of people that are more than obviously familiar." Hermione continued, her voice as calm as always.

Ginny smirked again. "You guys are so odd; I have **no** idea of what you're talking about." And with that the redhead shunted to the door pushing past her brother and made her way to the right, most likely her bedroom as that particular direction only led to the staircase and a few rooms on the first floor that Sirius had locked for an un-given reason.

"I don't even want to know that was all about!" The trio exclaimed lowly before letting their own individual sighs of irritation pour out.

O

Draco watched as Ginny walked up the stairs, a small self satisfied smile on her face. He stood in the shadows as she made her way to his door and without even the thought of knocking, she walked in, obviously thinking he was going to be in the room, as she walked out a few seconds later, confusion and irritation clearly etched on her young face, before she turned to look at Harry's closed door with curious intrigue. She made her way to it and once again walked in without a second thought.

Draco frowned; it was evident that she was looking for him, the fact that she walked into his bedroom first was indication enough, but why was she looking for him in the first place and why did she go into Harry's room as though it was the most obvious place for him to be in after his own sanctuary? Thinking further into those actions, Draco realised, with a little more confusion that was originally caused by the Weasley youngest, that she may not have been too far off the mark by going to Harry's room.

O

It had been one week and three days, Draco cursed himself for being so terribly weak, he stood inside Harry's room once more, after only conforming himself to standing outside his door for the last couple of days; promising himself that he would stay away after that first night together and after Ginny upped her flirting around the brunette.

But now, standing within his second sanctuary, Draco realised that Harry was getting his nightmares anew, as he heard the teen whimper slightly, and all else was forgotten. Within a second the blonde was kneeling by the bed and his fingers gently run along the damp skin and through the messy hair. "Shh, it's ok, I'm here; it's ok… I'm sorry I took so long, but I'm here now." Draco murmured gently, noticing that Harry did indeed calm down at his nurture and words. Slowly, he slipped into the bed, Harry instantly pulling him into his arms, like the first time.

"Gods, I missed you." Harry breathed out hazily as he nuzzled the back of Draco's ear, momentarily making the blonde pull back before he fell back into the embrace; sure that Harry had only been sleep-talking.

O

Harry woke up to a cold space next to him, shaking his head; he almost dismissed the idea of having Draco in his arms the night before as wistful thinking, or dreaming, whichever the case might be, but then he noticed that his bed had an obvious imprint of another person next to him, nuzzling the pillow that Draco would have used, the scent of the blonde's hair was faintly embossed on the fabric and Harry smiled once more. Damn, but the blonde smelled and felt so bloody good.

O

Two days later found Harry waking up alone again, he knew for a fact now that Draco slept with him but the blonde always managed to escape him in the mornings. And as of yet, the Malfoy heir had to speak to him for more than was absolutely necessary. On this day, it wasn't any different, well not that different per say, at least not outwardly in any case.

Ginny was, slowly but surely, becoming more intimate with Harry, he, of course, hadn't noticed as he was over pre-occupied with how to get to Draco, a fact that the little redhead took advantage of. Unfortunately, Draco and the others didn't miss this and although the others instantly knew that Harry was anything but interested on the Weasley. Draco on the other hand, didn't even suspect what the others knew, as he could only watch in silent horror as the girl got openly closer to the object of his affection, with little to no retaliation in any shape or form from said boy.

In any case back to… today… Harry sat in the window sill of the sitting room, as per usually, thinking of a new strategy to get to talk to Draco… if he couldn't do it upon waking up, then he would… Ginny run her hand over his ankle, down the side of his calf and stopped at his raised knee. Harry lifted a perfect eyebrow and narrowed his eyes in question and suspicion. The door opened just as Ginny had her hand move up on Harry's inner thigh, Harry moved to stop her but instead looked up to see Draco freeze; his eyes changing to different shades of grey as his emotions flashed by in a whirlpool. Harry could only stare back, his face a perfect imitation of a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Draco whirled around and literally run from the door.

Harry fell back against the window frame, his mind still a little foggy as he tried to digest what had just happened, only snapping out of it when Ginny moved away from him. "Ginny, what the fuck?!" He all but shouted at the girl, the others only flinching in expectation.

The redhead turned back to face him, a sneer on her young face. "Not my fault, if you don't have me… you won't have him." She stated with a shrug.

"Are you demented, you twisted little bitch?" Harry shouted incredulously, Ron, Hermione and Remus flinching at his language. Ginny only sneered further before once again shrugging and walking out, closing the door behind her.

O

Draco had, for the best part forgotten than Ginny had been looking for him all those days ago - after he had walked in on her asking Harry out. He had also forgotten his worry about why she had been looking for him exactly. Now he was about to find out as he turned away from his window to look at the person that had walked into his bedroom, and in the process soundlessly told him that he had forgotten to lock his door. Ginny stood against the door, a thoughtful look on her face. Slowly, her eyes focused and narrowed on Draco's own cold eyes. "I know that you want him, but you won't get him, he's mine… and you, you're a spoilt little nobody. He may not see it, but I will make him see it soon enough. He will see just how worthless and insignificant you really are, _Malfoy._" Her smile lifted a little at the corner of her lips and with that she walked out the door again, leaving Draco as though she had never been there in the first place, but her words remained and so did the pain. Flicking his wand, the blonde locked the door and put a silent charm around his room, to keep noise from inside and outside from being heard. Slowly he let his pain out, along with his anger, frustration, confusion, longing and hate.

O

Draco sat on the edge of Harry's bed a little after one in the morning. His back was facing the sleeping brunette as he let out a small sigh. "I'm so sorry; you don't understand how sorry I am. I'm so weak and…" He licked his lips quickly. "I'm so foolish. I'm pathetic, she's right… I'm nothing." His voice cracked as he buried his face in his hands.

"Who's right?" Draco jumped off the bed, turning around to face a fully awake brunette in the process. "Don't go!" Draco paused in his flee as he looked at Harry's desperate look and heard the anxiety in his voice; only to regret his action when he heard the door lock behind him.

"Now, who said you were nothing?" Harry sat up properly and patted the edge of the bed, next to him to indicate that he wanted Draco sitting down, close.

"Who else Potter, you're little girlfriend." The blonde snapped, unable to lie.

"What?" Harry's eyebrows shot into his hairline before shaking his head. "Never mind, now first of all _Ginny_ is not my girlfriend, so stop with that right now." Draco frowned as he sat down gently on the very edge of the bed, to appease Harry, some. But couldn't help but feel warm inside at the confirmation. "Secondly, you are not _nothing_. Draco, you are the most beautiful person I have ever known." Harry let his hand rest on the blonde's shoulder, a gentle but firm touch. A touch he put a little more pressure on as he felt Draco make a move to escape. "Draco… please, don't turn me down," Harry pleaded as he turned the Malfoy ever so slightly; grey eyes instantly clouding over in confusion and wonder as they met deep green orbs.

"What do you want from me?" Draco whispered as he felt Harry move closer.

"Just stop running, stop hiding…" Harry was a whisper away.

"And?..." Draco breathed out, his eyes quickly darting to look at Harry's slightly parted lips.

"And… let me hold you, let me have you." The kiss was brief, chaste, and perfect.

"Really?" Draco met Harry's eyes. His voice was uncertain, as though he had just dreamed the words and the kiss. Harry nodded with a small smile.

The blonde smiled back gently, as he felt himself fall into Harry's arms.

O

_(One year later)_

It had been a month since his father and mother had come out from hiding, they were back in the Malfoy manor and had been settling down quite nicely, since the last time he had seen them two weeks after their return. They were also thrilled for him.

It was a week before their wedding, and Draco and Harry were putting the final touches to their new house. They had moved out of the Black residence two weeks before and finally their little house was just like they wanted it.

Ron and Hermione had married that spring, and now Hermione was expecting her first child, she was five months along and looked radiant. They had also moved into their own house - which was a street away from Harry and Draco's own; a few weeks before their wedding, and where having a great time. At the moment, Ron was working at the Ministry of Magic as an Auror. Author Weasley was the newly allocated Minister (But that was a temporary position, until they found someone more experienced for the role, and someone who actually wanted the job). Hermione was working part time with Bill and the Dragons, but that was just a small hobby as she settled into married life and was preparing for motherhood.

Sirius and Remus had married the previous August. Remus had given birth to their first child in January and was now pregnant with their second child, of about two months. They were great parents. Sirius was more than loving his role as father as he spoilt his son rotten when it came to mischief and games. He was also a part time Auror but that was occasionally, as he preferred to stay home looking after his small family, and since his help was not all that needed after the war, he was more than happy to take the position and help out whenever. Remus helped at Hogwarts, when a substitute teacher was needed for Defence Against the Dark Arts. But that was also rare and as he was expecting, he was cutting down on teaching as well.

Ginny seemed to have disappeared into her studying after she found out that Harry and Draco got together, in spite of her best efforts to keep them apart. She also did not have an easy time at home during her time away from school, when the family found out about her antics, so instead of returning home when she finished seventh year, she disappeared, only to write to her parents a few weeks later and confirm that was ok.

Harry was working as the Quidditch instructor at Hogwarts, also helping Draco with the Defence Against the Dark Arts lessons as the blonde became the teacher after Remus decided that he would cut down on his time away from home.

At the precise moment in time, Draco and Harry stood in their garden, Harry had his arms around Draco, as he would, as they stood back to front. His right hand was making small circles around Draco's flat tummy as the other hand held onto the blonde's hip. The two week old pregnant Malfoy, soon-to-be Potter-Malfoy, let out a breath of gratification as he watched the sunset, the different vibrant colours splashing across the sky. "Love?"

"Hmm?" Harry let out a small sound of acknowledgement from the back of his throat, pressing his fingers against the denim covered hip.

"What should we call our child?" He let his hand fall on top the slightly larger hand of his husband-to-be; that protected his belly.

Harry paused for a second before nuzzling Draco's neck and whispering. "If it's a boy how about, Jamie Lee Potter-Malfoy… and if it's a girl… Lilieth Narcy Potter-Malfoy?" Harry suggested.

Draco half turned his face to look at his beloved, a small smile on his face. "Well Potter, I didn't know you had it in you." He purred affectionately.

"What Love, don't you like them?" Harry asked gently.

"I love them, Love, I love them, they are simply perfect."


End file.
